You know, I have wonderful friends. I always have. They support me and comfort me and give me hope when I feel bleak. They remind me that I am strong and good. But there is one part of me that almost none of my friends has ever supported, and that is the part of me that believed, or believes, in God. Many of my friends, even my boyfriend, make fun of belief in God, or at least think that it is exceedingly foolish and fanciful. In this day and age, I can of course understand why religion has gone so far out of favor...a religious group committed atrocious acts on 9/11, and what essentially seems to be a Christian cult appears to be taking over our country. And Christian groups have often condemned scientific ideas and even killed scientists themselves. Many Christians refuse to believe in evolution of any sort, many do not wish to learn of science at all. With the world in the state it is in, how could there be a higher power? If there is a God, why is there pain and suffering in the world? In this day and age, what logical, reasonable person would believe in God?
I would.
And believe me, this is not a popular choice. I have one Christian friend, and I almost never talk to her any more. The rest are Atheist, Agnostic, Unitarian...All rational, logical, pragmatic, intellectual people. They believe in science, or nature, in just being good to one another. And I believe in all of those things too.
Now, for the past few years, I have been very undecided about God, and it has shed new light on the whole thing for me. I look at Christians around me and see horribly embaressing behavior. They are cruel to people who are in love and want to be married simply because they are of the same sex...It?s ludicrous. Rejecting stem cell research? Denying evolution? Ignorance. I truly do not want to be associated with these people. Where are the intellectuals who believe in God? Where are the people who see the flaws of the Bible, who see the flaws of it?s followers, but still believe?
To me, science *is* the truest study of God. Study of his works...more solid and believable than any book that has been re-written and added to and bastardized (if it was ever truly the word of God to begin with, which part of me seriously doubts). That book has brought power to many evil governments...the Catholic church, which told men that taking pleasure from sex would send them to hell and which has killed so many because they would not convert...and now our own government as well.
I won?t go into too much depth about what I do believe, as most would probably find that boring. But I will tell you what I don?t believe. I do not believe that science and religion are at odds. They can not be. I think that at this point, science is truer theology than theology itself. I do not believe that President Bush knows shit about the will of God. I don?t think that most people do. And if you do know...well then watch yourself. Because thinking that you understand God is a mistake. It is important to understand that God is probably not an old wise man with a long white beard, that the job of angels is not to hang stars...that angels may not exist at all. Who is to say even that God has anything to do with our morals? And don?t ask me for proof, for I have none to offer. God isn?t about proof, he?s about lack of it. He could be the mass of all souls bound together, or he could be what binds us. I haven?t gotten that far yet, and I probably never will. Anyway, I?m rambling. I have lots of ideas...so many that I might burst with them, but it?s only because it has been a long while since I thought about God beyond wondering whether or not he exists. I mean, I used to know that he is the way I know that air is...but I was young then, I suppose that sort of thing isn?t meant to last. But I think I was given a choice...to leave God and choose a different path, or to accept him and to do what I?m meant to do, no matter how small it is. I know that many people think that the existence of God negates free will, but it does not. I think God is pretty keen on free will, actually. That?s what the whole Eden story is about to me. But anyway, I?m accepting God again. What I am asking is that you do not lose respect for me for it, and that you do not associate me with fools who can?t see past the end of their noses. I don?t speak in evangelistic radio rhetoric, and I never will. And please, try not to associate those people with God at all. God isn?t about religion anyhow, really, not that I can tell you what he *is* about. Many would say that God is about love, but I don?t know if I believe that either. I do think that God talks to me though my instincts, through my gut, not through any archaic text. I do think that it is all about trust and faith and choice. I don?t know much at all beyond that, and I don?t claim to know. I just felt the need to say this all tonight, and to post it. So if you read all of this, thank you for your time. I really feel like my old self again.

Now. Two other things. Number one is: Overpopulation is a real and true threat to our planet. If the population increases too much, there will be no room for us to grow food. Do you think it would be plausible for most of the population, in the future, to move into some sort city of spacecrafts near earth while using the whole earth mainly to harvest food? There would still be humans on earth, I imagine, just sort of an urban/rural type ratio. Does anyone know of any sci-fi books that incorporate this? Is it likely that it would be possible at all?

Number two. The top pick-up line in America? ?You have beautiful eyes?. Puh-leeze. And why does that work? Because people love to think that they have extraordinary beautiful eyes, and because that particular compliment *seems* deep when it usually isn?t. But seriously, the internet is LITTERED with pictures that people have taken of their eyes. Usually their eyes really aren?t that special, which I guess is awful to say. The top pick-up line in Brazil, however, is ?You?re delicious?. Now that would make me just...melt in a puddle of butter on the floor. Dip some lobster in me, baby!